Yes, We Have Lots of Bananas

First of all, I'm not going to acknowledge that it's been almost one year since my last post on this blog. But I guess that by not acknowledging it, I fully acknowledged it. (Please ignore the previous sentences.)

So, this story has less to do with absenteeism and more to do with bananas. More specifically: My love of bananas and the ridiculous things I end up doing with them and their peels. A few weeks ago, I threw a banana in my car to eat later in the day. For one reason or another, I forgot about the banana and left it in my car, eventually throwing in the back seat. That weekend, Isaac stayed at my parents' house. So, on that Sunday, Rosalie and I made the trek to McAlisterville to pick Isaac up. On the way home, I heard Isaac yelling at his sister saying, "Rosie, put that down!!" I briefly turned around to see Rosie eating through the peel of the banana; bringing it to her mouth much like one would play a harmonica. I grabbed it out of her hands and threw it on the passenger-side floor.

A few days later, while I was leaving work, I smelled the faint odor of a banana. After having already starting my drive home, I found the banana on the floor, right where I had tossed it just days earlier. Not wanting to leave it in my car and wanting even less to toss it out my car window for fear of being reported as a litter-bug, I did what any reasonable person would have done: I opened my sunroof and placed the old banana on my roof.

After a block or two, my crappy short-term memory kicked in and I immediately forgot about my attempt to free the banana. That is, until I came to the intersection of Maclay and 6th Street. I was the first car at the light. The first car on the perpendicular street ahead and to my right was waiting to make a left turn onto 6th Street. As we were both waiting, I saw him gaze upon the roof of my car in wonderment. Finally, he rolled down his window and motioned to let me know that something was sitting on my windshield. I gave him the "I know, I know" gesture and smiled. A few moments later, he made his left turn, pulled right beside me, rolled his window down the rest of the way and said "Yo! There's something on your roof." So I countered, "Yes, yes. It's a banana. I know." He rolled off and I flew home.

When I arrived home, I was disappointed to find that the banana had remained on my car. The plan was to jettison said banana without physically tossing it myself. I had failed. For the next three days, I drove from Carlisle to Harrisburg with a banana stuck to my trunk. Finally, on the morning of the fourth day, I wrapped the weathered banana around the top of my driver-side mirror in a last-ditch effort to get rid of the damned thing. (NOTE: My wife was proud of me the entire time. Don't believe her if she tells you otherwise.)

I got to work, the banana was gone. Huzzah!!

In a related story, I used to throw my banana peels on the roof of the Capital City Mall over the last three years that I worked there. I later heard from a very dear friend of mine that one morning after a particularly stormy night, he showed up to work to find tons of banana peels all over the parking lot. VICTORY!!! Maybe my next challenge will involve watermelon rinds.

Currently blasting: Ponytail-"Do Whatever You Want All The Time"